Last night, I did something I thought I'd never do. Something that I had internally scoffed at some other people doing.
I deactivated my facebook account. I've had the account since 2007 - spent countless hours on there, and now? We are officially "on a break" as Ross Gellar would say.
Why? There wasn't any one big reason. There were 50,000 little reasons. There was the fact that I was starting to feel like I spent more time reading about life than experiencing life. There was the worry that I overshare my kids' childhoods - will they appreciate this when they're older? There was the time it was taking away from everything else - work, other hobbies, etc. It was so easy to once I (finally) get the kids to sleep at night to plop on the couch, phone in hand, and waste an hour or more "catching up" with people but without really interacting with them.
I'm currently tired of the fake intimacy of knowing so much about people you don't see often - friends you can tell what their workout schedule is, what they ate for dinner last night - but you'd have no idea what to talk about if you saw them face to face.
Bigger picture for me though was I needed to get rid of the negativity I was feeling every time I logged into facebook. From fights over the Confederate flag, to judgment for not changing your profile picture to whatever the newest cause is/was, to analyzing every little thing you put on there because you knew someone somewhere would be waiting to rip you apart. It was just too much.
I also was realizing I had a big facebook problem that went far beyond the negativity others were posting! While feeding Nathaniel at 2 a.m. the other day, I inadvertently poked someone on facebook. Why? Because I was half asleep, facebooking, and feeding a baby all at once? WHY did I need to be on facebook at 2 a.m.? No reason at all. Several times in the last couple weeks, I woke up with my phone in my hand - I literally fell asleep on my phone (not always on facebook). It led to several embarrassing predicaments - either while sleep-facebooking (it's like sleep walking - not quite as dangerous, but more embarrassment potential!) or when I gave my precious toddler my phone - I friend requested people I didn't know. I shared a picture I didn't mean to.
I'm sure my break-up with facebook isn't permanent. But I'm taking this time to focus my energies on more important things and less negativity. Enjoy the time with my visiting family instead of documenting it all on facebook.
This might mean I'll even have time to update my blog again!