Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Baby Talk: Work, Work, Work
I've never done this link-up before, but linking up today with Busy Bee. (Click on the button above to join.)
One of the most difficult parts of motherhood so far has been finding a balance. A balance between being a wife and being a mother. Being a friend and being a mother. Finding time to do things around the house while taking care of a high needs baby. On and on the list could go. But hands down, the area that's been hardest to find the right balance is between work and being a mother.
In some ways, I think my difficult pregnancy helped with the transition a little. I had no choice but to cut back. I spent the last 7 weeks of my pregnancy on some form of bedrest. I eased into the whole working from home some thing.
But still, for a girl who was used to working 50+ hours a week and closer to 60 at certain times of the year, it's been an adjustment!
My last day of work before having Jeremiah? I had no idea it was going to be my last day of work. I was feeling so terribly that I remember putting things away and thinking "I'll just do those tomorrow." I even told my boss "I'll take care of XYZ tomorrow. I can't do any more today." Well instead, 3 hours later I texted him "Hey, (insert name here). Apparently, I'm having a baby tonight so I won't be in tomorrow." He replied something like "Okay, see you Monday!" (We joke around a lot at work, I suppose.)
Jeremiah was born Saturday. By Sunday night, I was e-mailing people at work to catch them up on some things. Monday I was answering questions and approving e-mails. Not much of a break!
Less than two weeks after Jeremiah was born, I started working from home. I only had 5 total weeks off, so by working some from home, I could stretch it to more like 6. I also would go into the office for a few hours here and there. My first day in the office? Three weeks after Jeremiah was born. Three weeks after major surgery with extra blood loss. I think I lasted 4 hours. And that included a needed pump break. I would go in and work another part day later that week. (My parents stayed with Jeremiah while I did this.) The next week, I was in the office 3 days (I think mainly 6 hour days though). The next week, 4 7 hour days. (I was also still working from home.) Finally, it was time for me to be back full-time.
It was so hard leaving my little baby. I felt I hadn't had enough time with him, enough time to recover from surgery, or enough time to fit in my work clothes! (I think I wore maternity pants for the first 2 weeks I was back in the office. I rationalized it that I wasn't even to my due date yet!)
The first weeks, while difficult, were made easier by my mom staying at our house during the week. What a total blessing! Not only did I not have to take Jeremiah anywhere (especially since I technically wasn't even supposed to be lifting the car seat with him in it yet!), but I would come home to a prepared dinner, clean house, and had help during the night. I really don't think I could have done it without her.
The first time I dropped Jeremiah off for care, even though it was at my friend's house, I cried. He was about 10 weeks old - still so small!
Since then, things have gotten easier. Unfortunately, as the work week is back in the 50 hour range, it's difficult. Jeremiah still isn't sleeping through the night, so I'm tired a lot. I cherish the Saturdays I have with him soooo much. It's so lovely to wake up with him, cuddle him, and not have to rush. I try to soak in each and every moment I have with him.
I have a feeling this will be an ongoing theme - striving for balance!