I'm writing with a heavy heart tonight.... heavy eyes from tears that have been cried and tears that have been suppressed.
After picking up Jeremiah tonight, we had a stop to make. We stopped at a funeral home.
It was a pretty standard visitation. You greet the family, sign the guestbook, express your sympathy, shed a few tears, look at pictures, and pay your respects. Nothing spectacular, right?
Only this time, I did not express my sympathies to the deceased's children. No sentiments like "He had a long full life" or "She is no longer in pain were expressed."
Because I was talking to the parents and grandparents of the deceased.
The deceased was a 5 day old beautiful baby.
A baby.... a loved, wanted, prayed for, sweet baby girl.
Her name was Hannah. She has two older brothers - ages 2 and 1. She has two wonderful parents. She has 4 grandparents who are kind, giving, loving people. She has aunts and uncles, extended family, friends all hurting, aching, missing this sweet girl.
She was born prematurely. She was born with a previously undetected genetic condition that was fatal.
We prayed for healing. We prayed for her to live. Unfortunately, our prayers were not answered the way we had hoped. They were not answered the way we would have chosen.
Nobody would choose for a 5 day old baby to pass from this life to eternity the day before Father's Day.
Nobody would choose for parents to bury their infant daughter 6 weeks before her due date.
Tonight, I'm holding Jeremiah a little extra tight.
Saturday, when I got the news Hannah was fading fast, I was struggling with a sick, cranky baby. A baby who was screaming. A baby who was in pain. A baby who I could not seem to make happy. And then I stopped.
I thought of my friend who I knew would give anything to have a cranky day of a cold with her daughter.
As I was up Saturday night with a teething baby who wouldn't let me sleep, I thought of my friend who would gladly be up all night tending to her daughter. A friend who was very likely up all night crying and planning a funeral instead of feeding a newborn.
And I hugged my son a little extra tight and thanked God once again for the miracle He blessed me with.
And if you have a moment, please say a prayer for my friends Amanda and Dominic as well as their families.