Monday, August 13, 2012

My Heart is Hurting...

I process things a lot with words...  spoken words, typed words, words are how I process.  I'm not sure if I'll even post this, but I'll be vague in case.  I don't want to give too many specifics as it's an "evolving story" in my life and involves others.

But I'm hurting.  And when I'm hurting this much, I have to get it out. Otherwise, I'll continue to just internalize and spend the next 3 days in turmoil and not sleeping.  So to get out of turmoil, I feel right now that I have two options - write it out or punch the offender in the face. Right now, if I'm being honest, option 2 sounds like the better choice.  And I've never punched anyone in the face.  So I'm going to go with option 1 in hopes that a) I'll feel better and b) tomorrow when I'm faced with this person cooler heads will prevail.

I really don't get angry very often or very easily.  But right now, I'm angry, sad, and hurting. Today, while working on a Saturday, I found out I was lied about by a former employee. And not just in a gossipy way to whomever but in writing.... to the state.... as an accusation.  Basically, this employee quit with no notice, which is one reason I've been working like a mad woman the last few weeks. She gave no reason, said she loved us all, and has actually contacted several of us! In a friendly matter! So, it was quite shocking to get a letter saying that she is stating we intentionally harassed her. Really?  Really?  No.... I repeat, really?

I feel like I did everything for this person. Helped her... stayed late to do her work... coached her on how she could improve... didn't fire her for many, many mistakes because we all liked her.  And now, this is how she repays us. With baseless accusations so she can collect unemployment that she isn't entitled to.

Making matters even worse, I can't avoid this lady.  We have too many people in common.

Also worse is this lady, for as long as she worked there, was very vocal about her faith.  Which is fine.  Great even. Until you go out with a flame of infamy - first by showing little integrity by quitting with NO notice and then by lying about your work situation AND how people treated you for your own personal financial gain.  It's sad. If you're going to reveal yourself to be a hypocrite with no integrity, can you please not preach about Jesus every just about every day for a year and a half?  Christians get enough grief for being hypocrites without even more people proving their point.

If any of you have any words of advice, I'd appreciate it. But mainly I just wanted to get this out.  Off my chest so to speak.

1 comment:

  1. Well, Deanna, I wish that I could reach right on over there and give you a big hug. Unfortunately, there's absolutely nothing you can do about the other person, except ask the Lord to give you love for her. I don't have the answers and struggle myself with a situation that has broken my heart, made me ill, and soured my stomach. I can't change the other person...I have to keep asking the Lord to change me. That's all I can do.

    Love you and praying for Him to comfort your heart today.