So, I've been thinking about housework a lot the last..... oh, 18 hours.
I feel like we've finally got it split up in a way that works for us at this point in time. This could all change if anything switches in regards to schedules, jobs, etc. but I finally feel after 4 long months of marriage (hehe, small joke!) it's all under control.
John is a little bit of a neat freak. In some ways.
I'm not a neat freak, but I'm a bit of a germaphobe. The ways that I am a neat freak are pretty much the opposite of how John is.
This presents a bit of a dilemma.
When we were at the condo, it always seemed like it was very much "my" place (probably since I had lived there for 4 1/2 years longer than John). Therefore, he seemed to think that maintaining it was "my job." This led to some stress since working 50+ hours a week was also "my job." For a little while, I was working about 50 hours a week, doing most of the housework, all of the cooking, and all of the bill paying. Oh, and grocery shopping, toiletry shopping, etc.
Looking for a house made it even worse, because then I was also packing what I could and handling mortgage documents. (All while entering busy season at work.... sounds fun, doesn't it?)
We had to talk about it. Several times in fact (note - we did not fight, I am not sharing dirty laundry on the blog, I'm just saying we discussed matters). He started helping a little more, but still, I was probably doing about 80% of the house stuff. And of the hours we worked weekly, I was working about 65% of them. It was demoralizing - leaving the house while my husband was still in bed, getting home 3 hours after he did (at which point he would be starving!), immediately cooking dinner because he was starving and then spending an hour or more cleaning each night.
I was exhausted. I was stressed. I may have even cried.
Moving ended up changing a lot more than our address. Around that same time, John changed jobs as well. He now works like 55 hours a week - more than I do. But I think it's more having a house that is "ours" and not "mine."
Since we've moved, here are some things I have not done:
-Cleaned a bathroom
You'd think my house would be gross, right?
Wrong! John does all this and more. Our current "division of labor" (which just kind of happened, we never discussed it) is I take care of the kitchen and all that happens there (making his lunch, all dishes, cooking, etc.), we each do our own laundry, and he does everything else. And in the week we've had the cat, I also take care of my little Leo.
Because his two days off are days that I work, I come home to a clean house at the end of a long work day. I have to admit it's very nice.
This new division of work is working much better for me.